With so much uncertainty these days, the time to connect or be with those we love is ever more precious. Despite being in the projected path of Hurricane Ian’s approaching winds, I decided to take the chance to fly out to be with my mom in New England to celebrate her 94th birthday. Although we talk by phone almost every day, it was so special to be able to hug her and to let her know in person how much she is loved. I realize how lucky I am. On this same trip, I got to be with one of my aunts who is 95, my brother and cousins and a school friend I’ve known since I was 7.
It was interesting packing, knowing that what I was leaving behind, might not be there when I came back. Still, one carry-on bag only holds so much and what was most precious were the people on both sides of my journey. I tried to focus and be in the present, but I couldn’t help but be concerned with how many moments I have left with those I love.I wished I could stop the clock for a while… a few years maybe…to have more time with cherished, and irreplaceable, loved ones.
I had a wonderful visit with my mom and her dog Jaxson. It makes me happy that they have each other for comfort and affection, and that my brother Bob checks in on her regularly at her independentliving home. I know how fortunate I am to still have my mom in my life, and I’m grateful for every moment I have to cook for her, go for walks, share stories of our travels, and to hug and tell her how much I love her. I am poignantly aware that there are not as many days or months ahead to experience her love, listen to her words of wisdom, touch her soft skin. I took tons of pictures and a few videos at every opportunity and even got one of Mom and Jaxson singing. I try not to think about what life would be like without her.
One never knows when it is our time to depart this planet. My mom’s sister, Aunt Pepine, who at 95, has always had such a deep faith, has been ready to leave for some time. Her decades of volunteer work at the huge Catholic Church, across from where she lives, was like a second home to her and a major part of her life. With the church now closed, Pepine, who can no longer easily climb up or down the 3 flights of stairs to her apartment, prays that the Lord will take her. In fact, a few months ago, when I was last visiting, she had called my cousin in the middle of the night to say that she was ready to die and what clothes she would like to be buried in. Sometime in that early morning period, a piece of the steeple of the church collapsed and fell to the street below. It wasn’t Aunt Pepine’s destiny to leave then, but she was later given a stone from the church as a reminder of what had once been a solid part of her life.
I remember as a child, my mother would sing “Que sera sera, whatever will be willbe”, and even now, Mom reminds me of how important it is to live in the present moment and appreciate and love what is. Each time I am with her I am totally grateful. I hope that I carry even a smidgeon of her love to share with others. And I try to hold an awareness of how valuable it is to offer a loving piece of who we are, in the best way we can, in whatever time we have, with each person.
Over the last several years, many of us have lost loved ones whom we wish we could have another chance to say, “thank you” or “I love you,” but what we can do is to keep their loving memories and experiences alive by sharing them with others. We can also choose to not let another opportunity go by without expressing our caring to those who are in our lives now. And part of that is listening to the promptings to pick up the phone and call, to visit, and to make every moment count.
Each precious moment is an opportunity to not only share our love and appreciation with our loved ones, but to extend a little kindness to those who are in our everyday surroundings. We never know how our loving interactions will be carried in the hearts of those who need it most.
Blessings and love,
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