We don’t need a special reason, or season, to show up for people, to let others know that we care. We each have our own unique ways of expressing and receiving love. Sometimes we need to be reminded that our lives matter. There is no greater ‘gift’ to share than one’s loving presence.
Growing up in a traditional Italian family, there weren’t many ‘presents’ (although Santa did sneak a few up to our 3rd floor apt.). But we always knew we were loved, and it was often expressed through homemade food, vegetables and flowers from the garden, and even a bunny rabbit. Occasionally a silver dollar, my grandfather had earned gardening, was slipped into my pocket. I’ve kept those silver dollars, even after my grandfather passed long ago, because of the feelings of love that they still hold.
It’s interesting how we can each have such different ways to express our love. My Dad, generous as he was, could never say the words, “I love you”, even though I knew that he did. When I went away to college, he would send me a funny card with a hand-written message every week. My friends would say: “You got another card from your dad!” It would be many years later, that he actually said, “I love you” on the phone, when I lived 2000 miles away. I always knew in my heart that he loved me and would be the first to show up if I needed help. Decades later, when he was in nursing care, I made sure to send him a card weekly to tell him how much I missed and loved him. And although I was about to receive cancer treatments, I flew out to be there and hold his hands as he passed, telling him, “I love you, Dad!”.
My mom has always been my best friend and love of my life, and has always been there for me. We travelled and explored many places. She was the person I could call and share my heart aches, life’s challenges and disappointments, and would let me know it would be alright. Now that she can’t travel, each day that I call her is an opportunity to let her know how much I love her. In fact, we have a hard time hanging up with the number of “I love you’s” we say back and forth. And she will say, “Last time! I LOVE YOU, bye”, and we both laugh. (I will be forever grateful for every one of them)
In reflecting on life’s twists and turns, I would never have predicted that I would one day be immersed in the “gift and home accessory industry”, for almost two decades, traveling the rocky mountain states. And although I enjoyed meeting and working with retailers, manufacturers and sales reps, this consuming business found me longing for the gift of free time. But that would come later.
TIME IS such a precious gift. As a single mom, Brandy, who works full time as a hairdresser, most appreciates who and what helps her to have more free time to spend with her teen aged son, or alone.
In our materialistic world, we often rush about during the holidays to find the ‘perfect present’, when in fact it lies within us. What I hold most dear are the experiences of love that give me comfort, peace, and joy and the time to share with those I love. And while I can appreciate fine things, what I treasure are those that hold a special meaning, such as the ring that Francesco, my partner, gave me that belonged to his sister, no longer with us.
We each have our own challenges, but the journey is so much easier when we can share it with those who care. Perhaps the best gift of all is just showing up in someone’s hour of need, or time of loneliness, or illness or loss. And it can sometimes be in the simplest of ways, with a letter, a phone call, a touch, an acknowledgment that they matter. Let’s not wait until it’s too late.
image by Kirsten Elharda
At this time in our lives, many of us have an awareness that we have already been on this planet longer than the days we have left. It makes time all the more precious. I don’t want to waste a single day when I can be letting those I care about, know how much I love and appreciate them. We all want to feel our lives matter. Our kindness can be a source of joy and comfort to others, whether we know them or not.
How can we experience this holiday season and year ahead in a way that lets others know that they are valued? How can we make our loving presence be the best gift of all?
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