My goal in life is to be as good a person as
my dog already thinks I am.
-Anonymous
Do you long to experience an unconditional love relationship?
Despite our disillusionment over the years, perhaps deep down many of us are still holding out hope for “The One” – the ideal person who will make us feel special, listen to us, comfort us when we feel sad and lonely, take care of us when we’re sick, greet us when we come home, be our best friend, and always believe the best about us. 
We may have thought we’d found that partner, some of us may have even married him or her. And we thought it would last forever – but forever is a long time and people change. Perhaps we’ve become disenchanted; desirous, but less hopeful, of finding someone to share our lives with.
Where can we find that unconditional love, that consistency in our lives? Anyone who has deeply loved their canine companions can talk to you about unconditional love. Dogs have been devoted to humans for centuries. They were domesticated to be our best friend, ally….and over time that relationship has evolved. Dogs sometimes become surrogate children, friends, family, and partners. They listen with total attention, give affection liberally, love us no matter what we do or don’t do, and even comfort us when we experience sadness or loss. And they inspire us to great love.
My friend Paula Montana, an advocate for dogs of all shapes and conditions – she adopted a three legged dog, Opie, who became the ‘love of her life,’ and fostered a one-eyed, single toothed Chihuahua (beautiful only in her eyes) – asked me, “Why can’t I love human beings like I do my dog?” Paula laughingly answered her own question, “Oh, it’s because they don’t talk. They don’t argue with us.” We couldn’t argue with that one! And we came up with other qualities that we both have discovered in our dogs: they offer total devotion and unconditional love.
“So,” I asked, “how can we be more like dogs?” Paula replied, “Be in the moment. What would it mean if we could do that for one another? It would mean a lot of forgiveness, not carrying grudges from one moment to the next.”
Paula reminisced about her dog Buckwheat, who had passed many years earlier: “She was so old and her breath smelled so badly – and I didn’t care. Where was that love coming from…because I LOVED her so much!”
I could relate. I’ve always been a dog lover, but never so much as in my single adult years when my dog was a huge part of my life. It was an unconditional love relationship, a total acceptance that I rarely found with humans.
My German shepherd, who had MS, arthritis, and needed three shots, and eye drops daily was my ‘love’ for eight years. Somehow the ritual of putting in eye drops and giving him shots became a tender time for both of us. I loved him so much I would do anything to maintain his health for as long as I was able. He outlasted many a relationship and was dedicated right to the very end of his life. How is it that we can inspire and experience that kind of love?
Terry, my mom, LOVES dogs and believes, “Dogs give more than they require. They make us feel needed and loved. Most of the time dogs are better companions than humans. The human is complex with mood swings…sometimes you get along and sometimes you don’t.” She continued, “It’s easier to live with a dog than with your husband. Get a dog! Find your best friend.” My mom has kept her husband AND she has chosen a dog – an incorrigible two-year-old terror (I mean terrier). It’s so sweet to see them acting like a new family.
She sums it up by saying, “My dog loves me and I love him. It gives me a purpose, he entertains me and gives me attention and love…It fulfills my needs. He’s well worth it!”
How can we learn from our canine companions more about what it means to be in a loving relationship? How can we love others the way our dogs love us? I would like to be the kind of person that my dog has always believed me to be AND I would love to be in a partnership with a human where we’d share the same qualities of loyalty, playfulness, respect, unconditional acceptance and love, and friendship. Well, I’m willing to learn. Woof ! Woof!
Hi, Linda,
I love your article. It’s funny it should arrive today because last night I found a little three-legged dog on the internet that we’re thinking of adopting. If she’s the right one to be our newest family member, she will be my first dog.
I’ve experienced all you’ve written about in your article, but with my three cats (two of whom died within eleven months of each other, both within the last year and five months). Each of them are/were pure love. Their number-one priority in life is/was sharing love. Their personalities were so different, but I knew if I were old, fat, bald and toothless, they’d still love me completely.
Since Marguerite just died in September, I’ll write about her here. (Since I’ve been reflecting since her death on what I can learn from her.) She loved deep, extended eye contact. She’d look into my (and others’) eyes, fully receiving all of who I was, and completely letting me see who she was. People who’d just met her would say, “Ooo, Zen kitty –” things like that. My vet’s wife told me, “All the cats that come through our office are special, but Marguerite is more special. She’s like the Dalai Lama of cats.”
If I felt upset, she could feel it from wherever she was in the house — and I didn’t need to be making a sound — she’d be by my side in an instant. If I was stressed out, she’d sleep with her little head on the pillow beside mine. Just being in her presence, every cell of my being felt completely nurtured and nourished.
This was just who she was. Whatever she did to become who she was made her this way. Someone can try to comfort someone else, and the person being comforted feels something from the other person’s life that comforts or doesn’t. Part of it is knowing that this person cares, versus is just going through the motions of comforting. If this person who is comforting truly cares, and is also deep, pure love — one is comforted to the core of his/her being. Marguerite was like that. She was my precious, beautiful angel, and the sister of my soul.
What a “helpful hint” for relationship happiness!