Path to Peace, Acceptance and Healing

Have you ever received a piece of news that stopped you in your tracks?

One of the scariest pieces of news that shook my world was: “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have cancer!”   (referred to as “c” from here on in).  A totally unexpected call from my doctor on January 3rd, 2019 would send me on an unrelenting quest for information and in a direction that would, eventually, help me to navigate a personal path to peace, acceptance, and healing.

Initially, many thoughts, images, and questions, overshadowed by fear and uncertainty, flooded my mind. I wondered:  Was this a death sentence or a new way of being in the world?  What treatments and their outcome would I experience? What will ‘normal’ look like? Will I still be ‘me’ on this journey? What kind of help and encouragement would there be on my path to healing? Will “c” ever be gone? 

I started on this journey, strengthened by many prayers, and with the support of my partner Francesco, my mom, friends, family, community, a faith in God and my angels. I hoped that I was stronger than I felt, and held a belief that things would be alright. It wouldn’t be easy.  I lost one of my dearest friends, Carol, in February, followed by the loss of my dad in March.  I was grateful to be able to fly back to be with him and hold his hand and tell him, “I love you”, as he passed.

It was the beginning of a path that involved an engagement with an unknown medical realm, a  concerning diagnosis – Stage 3 – that necessitated surgery, followed by a regimen of drugs and infusions, all assailing a body that struggled to remain strong, while trying to stay positive, hopeful, and maintain a semblance of normalcy.  Why did this happen when I had made great efforts to eat well, exercise, and be moderate most of my life?  I wanted to just continue with my holistic approach to life, but my brother, Tyler, a genetic molecular biologist, convinced me that, “You need to be the gladiator and get into the ring with everything you’ve got!”  And so, I did it ALL:  surgery, chemo, radiation, acupuncture, a healthy diet, rest, vitamins…and even humor, as when I showed up for my 1st treatment, calling it my “Chemo Picnic Day!”  The hair loss wasn’t quite as funny.

Those months offered me TIME to read, write, reflect, and even be creative. In fact, it was a gift during this recovery period that I was able to focus on a passion of mine.  I’ve always loved connecting people and I now had an unexpected opportunity to create my first deck of Just Ask 1 2 3 question cards, that help people to get to know each other on a deeper level.

I came to realize that we never know how we will handle the distressful news, events and losses that life thrusts upon us.  The best we can hope for is that with a positive attitude, resilience, faith, and support, we can come out the other side feeling grateful.  

What started as a shocking “c” diagnosis, became a journey of appreciation for the wonderful doctors and nurses who provided quality care and treatments, the kind volunteers like Bill, a cancer survivor and grandfather, who offered a smile and a warm blanket, and for the caring cancer community that gave so much support, even though sadly, some didn’t make it.  I am deeply grateful for the many friends who lovingly showed up with food, who sat with me during chemo infusions, or sent loving cards, calls, and emails of encouragement, and so many PRAYERS!  THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!  It gave me the strength to get to the ‘finish line’ and RING that BELL! 

On this September 19th, I am celebrating 5 Years Cancer-free!

I am told “it is a good marker.”  My gift to myself, and hopefully to those who may need encouragement during a difficult time, is to share my journey and what I have learned and done to make it as good an experience as I could.

As we each walk our unique life path, we will face challenges and losses over which we have no control.  What we can do is to make it as positive and loving an experience as possible, to share and support each other, maintain a hopeful and grateful attitude, and to commit to living life as the blessing that it is.

Wishing you and your loved ones much love, compassion, and healing on your personal journeys.