Do you remember your earliest Valentine’s Day celebration and how it made you feel? At 7 years old, I recall decorating a brown paper bag with my name, surrounded by colorful hearts and flowers to be hung along the base of the classroom blackboard with the hopes that it would soon be filled with little Valentine cards from classmates. I felt lucky, but unless the teacher asked students to put cards in each bag, it wasn’t everyone’s experience to feel special or that they ‘fit in’.
Hedda, an amazing, community-oriented member of our “WWW wonderful women’s writer’s group”, recalled that she had had early Valentine’s experiences of feeling “not good enough.” She says, “Years later, I was able to reframe that memory by “celebrating my love of my women friends, but also a love for ourselves.” She is already planning a Valentine’s party for 26 of her closest women friends and just hosted a special celebration for our WWW group!
Another early memory for me was sitting at the counter at my dad’s variety store, looking at the wall behind the soda fountain, displayed with heart shaped, satin covered boxes filled with chocolates. “For adults”, I thought, as I crunched on tiny hard candy hearts with “Be mine”.
Sheryl, a friend from South Africa, recalled the Valentine’s cards that she would receive with no signature and no way of finding out. She said: “It was just our custom. Sometimes it left you wondering who it was and other times, you just knew.”
And while it can be sweet to celebrate a romantic relationship, and I still do, these have taken on many different forms over the years. But consistently, I love honoring friends, using this day as an opportunity to share how special they are and what they mean in my life. Sometimes when I was a part of a women’s group, I enjoyed buying a single red rose for each person. One friend, artist Judy Lyon, loved to paint a heart rock on alentine’s Day for each of our 11 members. My dear friend, Deana called it a “Love Holiday” and I think of it that way still.
How can we use this holiday to celebrate the many people in our lives who have opened and inspired our hearts to love? On this Valentine’s Day, I sent a special package filled with warm, cuddly socks, to my mom, and mailed cards love sending e-Valentine’s that hopefully let each recipient know they are loved and appreciated.
Just as we don’t need Thanksgiving to feel grateful, we don’t need a special day to acknowledge those we love. However, Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful reminder to put more love into our interactions with others, whether they are friends, parents, a neighbor, or someone we just happen to meet. There are many ways to express a heart connection. In the end, it’s the love you give that makes for a life well-lived.
Sending many blessings to you and your loved ones,
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